Revisions to intro and first body paragraph
Original copies
as I read through the “little seagull” I realized that some points of my introduction and my first body paragraph that I needed to change. my understanding of my main ideas was broadened throughout my reading. when I scanned my peers edits for my essay I had to change my paragraph structure and make my main ideas more clear. The quotes in some of my paragraphs were way to long and I needed to change that. with that being said in some circumstances you can block quotes to help readers understand the message you are trying to get across. I some ways I had to expand on my knowledge of the EA and the aspects that they describe as there goal for the world.
my second paragraph I repeated many of my ideas which needed to be said however I hadn’t to shorten them to not make the paper boring. for many reasons I choose to revise these two paragraphs to make the paper stronger.
Ryan,
What do you mean when you write, “my understanding of my main ideas was broadened throughout my reading.”
What main ideas? How was your understanding broadened? Do you mean while you read Little Seagull? Continue to strive for specifics, as it helps minimize confusion.